Welcome to the weekend conversation.
I’ve got a couple of conundrums to deal with this weekend.
On Sunday at noon, Southampton are playing Portsmouth. Now, that would be straightforward enough, except my grandson has a football match at exactly the same time.
What do you do?
I won’t reveal my decision just yet. I suspect some of you will have a very clear idea of what I should do, particularly if you’re football supporters!
But it got me thinking about the other conundrums we face in life. Some are trivial, some are surprisingly revealing, and others can have a considerable impact on how we spend the next few years.
When do you stop feeling guilty about changing your life?
It’s been a busy week. I’ve spent a considerable amount of time travelling around the country, meeting some of my most loyal consultancy clients personally.
I’ve wanted to explain face-to-face that I’m stepping away from my business advisory service. I still have ongoing contracts to honour, and I’ll see those through, but I won’t be taking on any new clients.
These are people I’ve worked with for years. We’ve shared challenges, solved problems and, in some cases, become good friends.
So it wasn’t a decision I took lightly, and I wanted to explain it properly.
But there’s another side to this.
For a long time, I’ve been talking about developing Ropho into something much bigger than a website.
I want it to become a publishing platform for people in their sixties and seventies who still have ambitions, interests, ideas and plenty to contribute.
I have guides to develop, products to create, conversations to have and an audience to build.
If I’m serious about that ambition, I need to give it the time it deserves.
And that means making some changes.
Why Do We Feel Guilty About Making Life Changes After 60?
My recent articles have been about taking a step back and the benefits of finding a little more clarity in life after 60.
I’ve tried to practise what I’ve been writing about.
I’ve taken a step back, reassessed what I want from the next stage of my life, and decided where I want to concentrate my energy.
Yet there’s still that nagging feeling that perhaps I should carry on doing what I’ve always done.
Perhaps it’s because we’ve spent years being responsible for other people, our businesses, our families and our commitments. We become accustomed to being the person who sorts things out.
And when we decide to change direction, even for perfectly good reasons, we can feel as though we’re letting somebody down.
But are we?
I’m not abandoning my clients or walking away from commitments. I’m honouring the work I’ve agreed to do while choosing not to take on more.
There’s a difference.
I wonder whether we sometimes confuse being responsible with being permanently available.
Perhaps we also underestimate how much time and energy it takes to build something new. Just because we’re no longer doing one thing doesn’t mean we’ve stopped working or contributing.
In my case, I’m not retiring. Far from it.
I’m changing what I work on and what I want to achieve.
And I suspect there are plenty of people in their sixties who would like to do something similar, whether that’s turning a hobby into a business, learning a new skill, travelling more or simply having more time for themselves.
So here’s my question: when do you stop feeling guilty about making decisions that are right for you?
Or perhaps the better question is: why do we feel guilty in the first place?
Taking a step back is only half the story
There’s something else I’ve realised.
Taking a step back is useful, but it isn’t the destination. At some point, you have to decide what comes next.
Tomorrow’s Business After 60 conversation is about setting goals and developing action plans when you’re serious about turning an interest or hobby into a business.
It’s all very well having an idea. The challenge is deciding what you want to achieve, working out the steps and actually getting started.
I’m putting that into practice myself with Ropho.
I have a vision of what I’d like it to become, but a vision alone won’t get me there. I need to decide what matters most, make time for it and keep moving forward.
That applies to business, but it also applies to life.
And while we’re talking about moving forward, there’s another challenge I mentioned last week.
Who’s joining me for a three-month health challenge?
Building Ropho and developing new guides and products is exciting. But there’s a downside.
I’m spending rather more time sitting at my laptop than I’d like, and the scales have started reminding me of that.
I walk most days, lift weights two or three times a week, watch my calories and try to eat reasonably well. Yet the scales seem to have developed a mind of their own and those love handles seem to be making a reappearance.
Perhaps some of you can explain that particular conundrum!
I’ve decided it’s time to take a fresh look at my routine, with a renewed focus on fitness, healthy eating, protein and maintaining strength as I get older.
I’m thinking in terms of three months rather than a quick fix. Something practical that can fit around everyday life, rather than a plan that takes over everything else.
Last week, I said I’d share more about how I intend to approach it.
So here’s the question: who fancies joining me?
We don’t all need the same goals. Perhaps you want to walk more, improve your strength, get back into exercise, eat a little better or simply feel more energetic.
We could share what we’re trying, what works and what doesn’t.
No heroic promises, no competition and certainly no need to buy a new wardrobe of gym clothes before we start.
Just a few people making a conscious effort to look after themselves a little better.
I’ll be sharing my own progress, including the bits that don’t go according to plan.
Over to you
One of the things I enjoy most about these weekend conversations is that a simple question can take us somewhere completely unexpected.
So, before I disappear to resolve my football dilemma, here are a few things I’d like to ask you.
- Have you ever made a big change in your sixties and felt guilty about it, even though you knew it was the right decision?
- Did you pursue your dreams, or did reality get in the way?
- Do you still have a dream you’d like to follow?
- Have you become more adventurous with age, or more cautious?
- Have you ever discovered a forgotten pension pot? I did, and for once I took my own advice: size really doesn’t matter. It’ll pay for a nice weekend away!
- And should we leave money to our grandchildren in our wills, or is there a case for helping them while we’re still around to see the difference it makes?
That last one might be a conversation all of its own.
You can see how this works. Start with a football match, and before you know it, we’re discussing life choices, dreams, money and what we want from the years ahead.
Perhaps that’s what life after 60 should be about: being willing to ask questions, challenge a few assumptions and work out what matters to us now.
We’ve all got different circumstances, responsibilities and ambitions. There’s no single right answer.
But I do think it’s worth asking ourselves one question from time to time:
If I want the next chapter of my life to be different, what am I prepared to change to make that happen?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you’d like to join me for the three-month health challenge, let me know in the comments.
Now, back to that football match. Southampton or my grandson?
Some conundrums are harder than others!
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it too late to make life changes after 60?
No. Your sixties can be an opportunity to reassess your priorities, explore new interests and decide how you want to spend the years ahead. Your circumstances may have changed, but that doesn’t mean you have to abandon your ambitions.
Why do I feel guilty about putting myself first after 60?
Guilt can arise when you’ve spent years prioritising family, work and other people’s needs. Making time for your own ambitions may feel unfamiliar. However, choosing a new direction doesn’t mean neglecting your responsibilities. It’s possible to honour your commitments while making room for what matters to you.
How do I decide what I want from the next chapter of my life?
Start by considering what gives you satisfaction, what you would like to change and what you’ve been putting off. Choose one or two realistic priorities, then identify practical steps you can take towards them. You don’t need to have your entire future mapped out before you begin.
How can I stay healthy and active after 60?
Focus on sustainable habits that suit your circumstances, including regular physical activity, strength-building exercise, balanced nutrition and sufficient recovery. Start at a level appropriate for your fitness and health, and build gradually. Consistency is generally more useful than attempting an ambitious routine you cannot maintain.
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